Look How Far We’ve Come….
I took back roads home tonight. A beautiful night, the sky deep and dark, the air cool and still… music playing. Gungor’s ‘Beautiful Things’ came on… the windows were down… and I have this habit of singing really, kind of, sort of… loud. ‘You make beautiful things, You make beautiful out of us…” and my mind went to how far God has brought me in the last year.
There’s so much… maybe not much compared to some things, but He has accomplished so many small (and large) things in my life… He is always faithful. Answering prayers that never really got prayed for, and, in some cases, NOT answering some of the prayers that were prayed (or, choosing to answer me in a different way than I saw fit)
I could list so many little victories in my life, my heart… growth spiritually and mentally, ways He’s stretched me and blessed me, but one of the true realizations came to me when I met with an amazing couple the other night to discuss their upcoming wedding. (Shout out to Kelly & Jameson!! I’m so excited to for your wedding!) They said some really sweet and encouraging things, things I truly was blessed to hear… and it just plain encouraged me.
Don’t get me wrong. Seeing all this growth is making it painfully obvious how far I still have to go. God has been revealing so much to me, the state of my heart, the reasoning behind my prayers (does anyone else ever try ‘reverse physcology’ on God?! Because I’ve had to check my words sometimes… EMILY!!! SERIOUSLY?! Did you just try and trick the Creator of the Universe with your silly mind games?!!?!) There are some aspects that come easier. I’ve always had a heart for the musical side of worship… but I’ve always struggled with prayer. I’ve definitely noticed my prayer life has grown- but I also realize how little I truly comprehend on the true heart of prayer, and praying for others.
And I stink at reading my Bible on a regular basis. Lets just put that out there. I’ve shared before how, for a little while, it’ll be amazing, I’ll be reading regularly, getting so much out of it, my attitude will be better, my thoughts and prayers more aligned with how I believe Christ would want them… but then, I’ll just hit a brick wall.. its so incredibly frustrating. I’ve come to realize I’m a small dose studier. (For now at least- God can work miracles, so, He’s free to make me a major Bible scholar anytime He chooses…) I’ve taken to writing verses on cards and scraps of paper… my bathroom is plastered with them, they’re in my car, by my sink, on my microwave. I jot down verses that speak to my heart in the front of my journal…
I’m starting out small and seeing where God takes me… as with most things in life… but I just wanted Him, (and you all) to know how incredibly thankful I am. I know I don’t have to write it here for Him to know, but it feels like something I should shout from the rooftops all day long… I’m not really one for shouting, so, I’ll do it in my own quiet way…
