Look How Far We’ve Come….
I took back roads home tonight. A beautiful night, the sky deep and dark, the air cool and still… music playing. Gungor’s ‘Beautiful Things’ came on… the windows were down… and I have this habit of singing really, kind of, sort of… loud. ‘You make beautiful things, You make beautiful out of us…” and my mind went to how far God has brought me in the last year.
There’s so much… maybe not much compared to some things, but He has accomplished so many small (and large) things in my life… He is always faithful. Answering prayers that never really got prayed for, and, in some cases, NOT answering some of the prayers that were prayed (or, choosing to answer me in a different way than I saw fit)
I could list so many little victories in my life, my heart… growth spiritually and mentally, ways He’s stretched me and blessed me, but one of the true realizations came to me when I met with an amazing couple the other night to discuss their upcoming wedding. (Shout out to Kelly & Jameson!! I’m so excited to for your wedding!) They said some really sweet and encouraging things, things I truly was blessed to hear… and it just plain encouraged me.
Don’t get me wrong. Seeing all this growth is making it painfully obvious how far I still have to go. God has been revealing so much to me, the state of my heart, the reasoning behind my prayers (does anyone else ever try ‘reverse physcology’ on God?! Because I’ve had to check my words sometimes… EMILY!!! SERIOUSLY?! Did you just try and trick the Creator of the Universe with your silly mind games?!!?!) There are some aspects that come easier. I’ve always had a heart for the musical side of worship… but I’ve always struggled with prayer. I’ve definitely noticed my prayer life has grown- but I also realize how little I truly comprehend on the true heart of prayer, and praying for others.
And I stink at reading my Bible on a regular basis. Lets just put that out there. I’ve shared before how, for a little while, it’ll be amazing, I’ll be reading regularly, getting so much out of it, my attitude will be better, my thoughts and prayers more aligned with how I believe Christ would want them… but then, I’ll just hit a brick wall.. its so incredibly frustrating. I’ve come to realize I’m a small dose studier. (For now at least- God can work miracles, so, He’s free to make me a major Bible scholar anytime He chooses…) I’ve taken to writing verses on cards and scraps of paper… my bathroom is plastered with them, they’re in my car, by my sink, on my microwave. I jot down verses that speak to my heart in the front of my journal…
I’m starting out small and seeing where God takes me… as with most things in life… but I just wanted Him, (and you all) to know how incredibly thankful I am. I know I don’t have to write it here for Him to know, but it feels like something I should shout from the rooftops all day long… I’m not really one for shouting, so, I’ll do it in my own quiet way…
**Heads Up**
Hey Ya’ll-
BFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFs……
I love the fact that my sisters think I’m hilarious. (and, I mean, I am, right? They don’t just ‘think’ so)
I hope that they know they can always come to me with anything and I will always love them.
I love that we can all three hang out in sweatpants and ratty hoodies, but we also all love to wear our fancy sunnies and earrings and frilly clothes from Forever21. Either way, its good.
I love that even though we’ve put each other through a lot of different crap- we’re still close, and hopefully always will be.
When they’re hurting, it breaks my heart and I want to be the big sister and fix everything, even though I have no clue where to start.
When I don’t see them for more than a week at a time, it feels like something is missing.
I love how we can finish each others sentences, or how we’ll say the exact same thing at the exact same moment.
I love the fact that I have built in best friends. Always.
I hope I’m everything I need to be in an older sister. I wish I prayed for them more, I wish I had more experience in a lot of situations so I could give them sage advice. I hope I don’t come off bossy and know-it-all. I hope I’m a good example.
I love you two. A whole lot.
Just words…
We started the early evening off laying in the grass on a blanket in the sun. Our feet in the air, and our hair blowing in the breeze. We talked about life and the fear of putting yourself out there over and over emotionally and always being left empty handed[hearted]. We then spent time laughing and marveling at social networking and the insight it pretends to present us. (we also watched silly videos and checked Twitter for updates- we’re not completely mature or serious)
On our way out, we talked about what we find physically attractive in the opposite sex. We had fairly different ideas of what is attractive- which is good. How awkward is it to have a good friend and then find out that you’re both attracted to the same guy?
We sat in a bookstore and flipped through magazines, happily looking at the glossy photos, occasionally pointing something out, or oohing over a pretty photo. Dinner was in order next, and over dinner, we discussed guys, and hearts, and God. The fact that what you cherish is what you make time for was a topic that we were both pondering. The realization that we always make time to check e-mail, or whatever social networking site we’re into, or watch a movie ect- and think nothing of it, even if its late, or early, or a rushed moment. Regardless of if we’re waiting for a specific/special person to contact us, or just doing it out of habit… how easy do we make it to find just a few extra minutes on a daily basis? I know I personally struggle with finding time on a daily basis to sit and meditate on God’s word. How I can always find an excuse. I’m too tired, I need to get to bed. I don’t have time (wouldn’t want to rush my time with God!). Whatever. If its something that I truly, truly, hold dear and cherish, I will do it.
Spending time in the word on a daily basis is a discipline- that word normally has such a negative context to me. As a child, it meant spankings and extra chores. As a teen it meant groundings and having to learn to do something I didn’t desire or care about.(hello algebra) But now? I’m all grown up. My parents aren’t looming over me telling me what I can and can’t do, who I can see, or how late I can be out. They also don’t get on me about doing the dishes, or cleaning the bathroom.
As an adult, I have trained myself to do these things. I have a bedtime, I clean on a(fairly) regular basis, and I do the dishes whenever I get a chance. I’ve also ‘disciplined’ myself to do other things. As a musician, if I want to learn a specific piece of music, I sit down and play till I get it- it usually takes more than one try. As a photographer, I have taught myself through trial and error, practicing techniques and shooting thousands upon thousands of photos… just like a runner trains for a marathon. A writer researches and writes multiple drafts…. there may be an off day in there, a day where you feel like quitting, but you don’t. I don’t. If its something we desire, we get right back up the next day and keep at it….
Why don’t I treat spending time with God the same way? Instead I feel like a failure. I feel bad for having times where I’m in the word and growing, but the next moment, just utterly flailing and forgetting. The highs and lows make me feel like throwing in the towel and admitting defeat. I feel like a ‘bad Christian’- a fake.
But if it is truly in my heart, I will change my attitude. Disciplining myself to meditate on His word is not negative, and its not an obligation. I should get up each day with the awarness that God’s mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:21-23) and His gift to me is a saving grace… and I am living and working towards an eternal promise…
The wind in all its glory…
The sunshine in all its golden warmth…
The flowers formed in delicate beauty, & the majestic clouds skirting high above…
Nothing compares to the glorious wonder of a God who sent His son,
To save a wretch like me;
An imperfect, flawed and tragic being.
The grace and mercy of the cross can never compare to anything else on earth.
He makes beautiful things out a vast expanse of nothingness. Writers block never plagued Him, He never had a lack of inspiration… He is truly the Great and Magnificent Creator.
Birthday!
Its my sister’s 22nd birthday…. she’s not only my sister, but my best friend. We’ve been through everything together, periods of despising eachother, of happiness, of depression or disappointment, but we’re still best friends…. through the years, she’s been the one steady friend in my life, the one I share everything with without fear of judgement or misunderstanding. We talk about God, about past friends¤t friends, and lets not forget and guys… we talk about standards and goals, dreams and fears… its not always easy being best friends with someone who is so incredibly gorgeous (she turns heads everywhere she goes) someone who is so responsible and together (especially since she’s my YOUNGER sister!) but I wouldn’t trade it for anything!
Me and my other (equally amazing) sister look more alike… but when we both have dark hair, we definitely look like sisters… people used to ask us if we were twins when we were @ college together….( I think because we have a similar style)
Hello 2010.
2009 was a good year. God blessed me in so many ways. Ways I never deserved.
But I’m not going to lie, it was a hard year, especially towards the end; and it seems as though a few things are carrying over into 2010…
I know, in the end, that God uses hard times to grow me. I just wish this part could be over so I could nod my head and sagely say, “Yes. This is what I learned.” I’ve been waiting for things to go back to ‘normal’- then I realized… part of my problem is that my old definition of ‘normal’ doesn’t exist anymore. Way to blow my mind there God. Simple as always, but extremely true.
I don’t have any “best of the year” (or decade) album/band lists. No favorite songs to jot down. Maybe I’ll do a favorite photos from 2009 eventually….
But I did write two things down in my journal the other night, the first being that this year, I want my hope to reside in Christ alone.
The second, that I would have a pure heart and mind in the sight of God- that my intentions in all things would be true and right, in all my relationships, in my interactions with those I work with and that especially the things I pray for would come from a pure heart and a desire that lines up with God’s plan for my life.
Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
Create in me a clean heart, O God.
Renew a loyal spirit within me.
Psalm 51:1, 10
25 Before 25
In recent conversation with someone and in happening upon a blog where there was a list like this… I have decided to create a list of “25 Things to do before I turn 25″….
I probably should have started a bit sooner as I only have till February… but hey, I’ll make the list more achievable… and maybe I’ll start a “26 before 26″ a bit sooner?
So… I randomly threw this together today… but I think it works. I’ll cross them out as I do them…
“25 Before 25″
(in no particular order)
1. See three more shows/bands/artists live. (at least)
2. Make and give handmade gifts for Christmas
3. Go on a date. (This goes on all my lists… haven’t achieved it yet, but hey, I like to dream)
4. Throw a Christmas party and invite new friends
5. Decorate the apartment with hand-made/thrifted items for the holidays
6. Dye my hair RED. (I always swore I would do it bright, cherry red at least once in my life… the dream has toned down a bit, less Clementine from Eternal Sunshine… more, “I work in the real world”)
7. Sponsor a Compassion International Child
8. Make official plans to go to either NYC or Seattle (or both, in 2010)
9. Shoot with film more often
10. Work on an art journal
11. Re-connect with some old friends
12. Get a group together to go to hocking hills to hike/take photos
13. Organize a photo-scavenger hunt
14. Only purchase clothing if I commit to giving away something that I already have
15. Pray for those I love and care about on a daily basis and put my whole heart into it
16. Start a new journal with the new year, and appropriately title it (it’s tradition, every new year I start a new one)
17. Write a song with music AND lyrics. Together. (scary… I’m not sure I know how to do this)
18. Learn how to use Garage Band with my piano/keyboard
19. Not drink ANY soda
20. Practice guitar on a regular basis
21. Try cooking some new recipes, like chicken curry and other dishes with meat in them (scary!)
22. Read Jane Austen’s “Persuasion”
23. Try not to be so sarcastic. (I don’t have a whole lot of hope for this one)
I need two more… suggestions?
Attention Future 2010 Wedding Clients
Future 2010 Wedding Clients,
It is with lots of prayer and thought that I have decided that in 2010 I will only be accepting, at the most, one wedding per month. As it is, I currently work full-time in a non-photography related field and as much as I would love for photography to be my main source of income, this is not currently possible. I am only one person and I only have so many hours/weekends that I can give, while still maintaining a healthy life on the side.
Photography is something I do because I love it, and I don’t ever plan on giving it up, but I struggle with the business aspect and find that I don’t have the time to invest in it that I should, working full-time.
With limiting the amount of weddings I take on, I plan on investing extra attention and creativity to produce work that both I, and future brides, grooms and families will love for a very long time.
If you are interested in booking me for weddings in 2010, please get in touch with me as soon as possible to request a date, as 2010 wedding season booking has begun. Also, remember that I am always available for engagement sessions, Anniversaries, and Just Because times.
Thanks,
Emily O.
Ohio Public Library Funding Emergency
I work for a public library system in Ohio. My mom and sister do as well. I have many friends who also work in Ohio libraries. Governor Strickland wants to cut our funding by 50%. This is on top of major cuts that we’ve already been through. My library system has already cut all employee hours by 2.5 hours per week, and have closed ALL locations on Fridays for at least the next 6 months starting next Friday.
I don’t care what your stance is on reading,…libraries are an essential part of communities. They provide programs, education, a cool or warm place to rest…and books. Story times and summer reading programs encourage young children read in a fun way….I don’t know what I would have done growing up if I hadn’t had a great library and hundreds of books to read….
If you have some time…please, read this and contact some of our representatives…I’d really appreciate it.
-Em
(there’s stuff out there for Facebook statuses, Twitter and the lot….please, this is important!)
Dear Library Friends and Patrons,
As you have probably heard on the news, Governor Strickland has proposed a last minute change to the State Budget: he proposes to cut funding for Ohio’s Libraries by an additional $100 million dollars a year for the next two years.
Public libraries are a vital lifeline to job hunting information, education, and family fun in a down economy. Greene County Public Library receives 55% of its funding from the State of Ohio. This funding rises and falls with the State’s income, and funding for libraries has already fallen dramatically in the current recession. If the Governor’s new cut became permanent, it would devastate the services we provide to children, teens, adults, and seniors throughout Greene County.
Under the Governor’s proposal, the funding for Ohio’s libraries would drop to nearly half of 2008 levels. The cost to the Greene County Public Library would be $2.2 million in 2009 and $3.5 million in 2010. The cut for this year would be in addition to the $3.3 million reduction the library is already facing because of declining state tax revenues.
We have already absorbed large drops in state funding while working as hard as we can to not reduce services for our wonderful patrons. But, without this key state funding, we will have to make deep cuts in hours, eliminate services, and possibly even close branches.
How You Can Help
You can help us protect the funding that will keep us doing what we do best — serving you — by contacting your representatives and the Governor’s office by phone and email this week to let them how you feel about the Governor’s proposal: the decision on this proposal will be made before July 1, 2009.
Please contact:
Governor Ted Strickland
(614) 466-3555
(614) 644-4357 (Fax)
contact online now
Representative Jarrod Martin
(614) 644-6020
(614) 719-3970 (Fax)
district70@ohr.state.oh.us -or- contact online now
Representative Robert Hackett
(614) 466-1470
(614) 719-6984 (Fax)
district84@ohr.state.oh.us -or- contact online now
Senator Chris Widener
(614) 466-3780
SD10@senate.state.oh.us -or- contact online now